The sues are coming! The sues are coming!
by Belac the Warrior
Summary: The sues have come to Alagaesia! Can Christopher Paolini stop me from taking over the first fandom in my plot to take over the world? Can he stop falling on banana peels? Of course not! My first humor fic, so be nice.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: My first humor fic, should be funny to most people. Here goes! (I swear, that's become my saying.)**

It was a dark and stormy night (minus the stormy), and DU EBRITHIL, a fan fiction writer who almost no one knows about, was trying to read a fan fic. It wasn't going to well. It was late and he was tired, so he decided to write a story. He would bring forth a thing of evil, and he would take over the world, one fandom at a time! DUN DUN DUUNN!

DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE

Far away in the Eragon fandom, Ellesmera to be precise, a being began to form, she had perfect curves and a perfect face. She had raven hued locks, and her eyes were like the nighttime sky, dark blue, almost black. This could take up the rest of the chapter, so let's just cut to the chase, shall we?

Several more things happened as well. Another girl like her, just with _golden_ hair, appeared in Uru'baen. They where, of course, sisters. And they were the doom of Alagaesia.

DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE

Awendela Leonora Eliana rose from where she had been sleeping and went to find her mother, Queen Islanzadi. She wanted permission to go to Du fells nangoroth, the blasted mountain, where long ago the elves had destroyed many of the dragon's eggs. She wanted to look for any eggs that might have survived. From there it would be a simple matter o fit hatching for her. Then she would steal _his_ heart, and take over the world. She soon spotted her mother with her super duper elf eyes.

"Mother!" she cried and she ran up to her.

"What?" said the queen, as the spell of _them_ had not yet taken hold of her. "I'm n… ever to busy for my beautiful daughter!"

"Oh, mother!" said Awendela. "Can I go to those mountains that the dragon eggs where smashed at?"

"Of course, dear!" said her mother, and Awendela went out on her beautiful horse, her emerald green eyes shining with happiness.

DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE

Jubilani Jovianne Eliana was in the torture room watching her father, King Galbatorix, torture Murtagh. Her Violet eyes filled with tears as she watched the man she loved be tortured by Galbatorix.

DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE

Christopher Paolini looked on in horror as these words appeared on the computer screen. Some one was trying to send sues into his book! Then he saw something at the bottom of the page. It was like a little signature. It said: DU EBRITHIL. The characters crowded into his room and looked at the screen themselves.

"As soon as we leave we're going to have to act like this is actually happening, aren't we?" said Murtagh.

"Yes," said CP. "Until I figure out who this DU EBRITHIL is, you will have to deal with the sues. Let's hope this won't take long."

But it would. It would take longer then anyone expected.

**A/N: There you have it. It will get funnier later on. I need some reviewers to make this work. So review. Please. **_**Please. **__**PLEASE!!!**_** Get it? Got it. Good.**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I want to have at least 5 more reviews for this story before I update it next

**A/N: I want to have at least ****5**** more reviews for this story before I update it next. That means I want to have a grand total (including the last chapter) of 10 reviews.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. Deal with it.**

Awendala rode through the forest, she had to get to those mountain thingy's before it was to late **(A/N: She's a sue. She's aloud to not know what the name of the blasted mountains is)**. After a ridiculously short time, she reached the mountains. She climbed up to the top quickly **(A/N: Remember, she's a sue, so just because Eragon had to use magic to climb doesn't mean **_**she**_** has to)** and walked through the wreckage. She felt something calling to her, and she went over to it. She lifted away a rock, and found a dark blue egg with little white spots, so that it looked like the night sky. Suddenly, at a speed that shouldn't be possible, it hatched. She touched the newborn dragon and she got the gedwey ignasia **(A/N: Notice again how illogical this is).**

**DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE**

Back in Uru'baen Jubilani Snuck into her fathers treasure room, and went over to a locked box. She then did something she shouldn't have done. She unlocked said locked box! Gasp! The horror! She took the sky blue egg out of it and, just as it did with equally sueish sister, it hatched and gave her the gedwey ignasia with in human speed. Then, after she hid the baby dragon in her room, she went down to Murtagh's room and proceeded to tell him how much she loved him. He in turn, told her how much he loved her. And he started to turn green. Then, poor Murty was, due to the sues spell, forced to do things that, if I wrote them here, would cause me to raise the rating. After several hours of this, Jubilani left, and as soon as she was gone Murtagh, who's face had been slightly green the whole time, threw up, laid back on the bed, and wished that he could die.

**DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE**

Meanwhile, back on earth, Paolini continued his search for DU EBRITHIL. He knew that the best place to look would be the Internet, seeing as that was where fanfiction normally was to be found, and that's basically what this is. Along the way, he had virtually slipped on a virtual banana peel and had been set way back. So far, all he knew was that DU EBRITHIL was young, unknown, and wrote lame to moderate fanfiction. He knew that DU EBRITHIL was responsible for the sue attacks, but he didn't know why he was doing it. He continued thinking.

"Oh shit!" he yelled, as he realized what DU EBRITHIL was up to. He realized that if Murtagh and Eragon were "in love" with the sues, and the other characters entranced by them, DU EBRITHIL could easily take over the fandom. He had to stop DU EBRITHIL. He started to run out of the room at full speed, but slipped on a real banana peel, fell, and fell unconscious.

**A/N: Sorry I took so many months. Also sorry this is kinda suckish. I'm also sorry this is so short. Please review. Please!**


End file.
